Hi, my playa name is Pan Das and I finally got my BM ticket! I’ve signed up for Poly Paradise with another poly lover, Karin, and her other lover and their partners. I am a long-time poly person, and was a poly activist in the mid-80’s through mid-90’s. I am very out as a poly person and only date poly-minded people. I’ve really been polyamorous since the mid-60’s when I went to Harvey Mudd College. I simply could not ‘commit’ to the monogamous mind-set of the majority, even then prevalent at the liberal Claremont Colleges. I had overlapping girlfriends and lovers, though under the guise of “dating.”  

My first consciously chosen and consciously accepted polyamorous relationship started in 1981. We both were just naturally poly-minded. After a couple of years we both started attending HAI workshops and events, which opened up the issue even more consciously. By the mid-80’s, I was a poly activist and was collaborating with Deborah Anapol. Two years later we got married in a deliberately poly-themed wedding and were actively recruiting more partners for our marriage. We started Expanded Family Network for poly-minded folks as a result of expanding our own marriage. I helped Deborah write and self-publish Love Without Limits in the late 80's. I appeared on Phil Donohue’s and Jenny Jones’s TV shows with her and another woman, promoting polyamory as a legitimate lifestyle. I co-led around a dozen and a half poly-themed weekend workshops. 

After divorcing Deborah, I found out about ZEGG and went to the first two week-long gatherings the ZEGGies held in the US in Arizona. Also attending were folks who founded the Network For a New Culture. Since then, I have drifted away from poly activism but am still resolutely poly in my love relationships. I visited ZEGG in 2006 for summer camp and Tamera in Portugal in 2011 for their six-week immersion course. I attended the 2012 NFNC summer camp in Oregon and 2013 winter camp in Hawaii. I’ve of course read much of the poly liturgy, including Sacred Matrix and Liberating Love. 

I met Karin, my current four-plus year lover via other poly folks who recommended us to each other. We have been poly the whole time, with each of us having some other lovers, though my opportunities have been less than hers. We will be celebrating our fifth anniversary in Belize this New Year’s Eve! 

I am currently starting up two other wide-ranging projects, as mentioned on my BM profile. One is called Introvert Awareness and empowerment, designed to help introverts like myself to help each other, to thrive and to be seen as valuable and in fact essential to the Extraverted mainstream culture. IntrovertAwareness.com went live at the end of May, 2014. 

The other one is part of intentional community awareness building, called Work, Eat, Play! to give people a slice in the day of intentional community living. The essential point is that in intentional communities, work precedes eating which precedes playing. Work-Eat-Play.com also went live at the end of May.

I have been to Burning Man three times before: in 2000, 2003 and 2005. The last time I was assistant food manager for the Opulent Temple of Venus camp. I was responsible for helping the food manager shop for the food and for supervising three of the dinners. It was quite the adventure, with forty-foot trailer filled with food for the camp! I also partook in the Temple itself, being trained in Orgasmic Meditation from One Taste and having shifts practicing OMing with interested women in the Temple.

 I am “hopelessly heterosexual” as Karin, my lesbian-identified lover, says of me. I have what I call the eight ‘S’s I like in a lover. The required ones have an “*” in front.

*Sweet—being mostly nice with almost no overt or covert anger

*Strong—both physically and emotionally

*Sane—very low drama

*Self-reliant—mostly able to fend for herself, not needing a lot of support from me

*Smart—perceptive and alert; does not require book learning per se

Spiritual—working towards full human consciousness; not goddess or woo-woo oriented

Sexy—I love women who dress up in stockings and lingerie and are naughtily sexy

Submissive—I enjoy being dominant in bed with women who enjoy being submissive 

I look forward to camping with poly-minded folks and will be interested to hear about others poly experiences and share my own. It would be especially nice to meet up with a few new poly love partners for long-term relating. I been living in San Diego for a year now, having moved here from Maui. I have family and friends in the bay area whom I visit a few times a year.